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Ice Age: Continental Drift- review

“Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)
Directed by Steve Martino, Mike Thurmeier
Starring Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo
Running Time 94 Minutes Rated PG
2 Mitch’s out of 5
Mitch Hansch/ movieswithmitch.com

To enjoy the “Toy Story” franchise you have to be within the age range of 100 years and younger, to enjoy the “Ice Age” franchise you have to be 8 years or younger.  Repetitive storytelling that uses a basic life lesson or two- in the case of Continental Drift it’s knowing who your real friends are.  You can almost hear the cashing of checks when any of the actors lifelessly voice out a slew of generic dialogue.  

So all of you 8 and unders out there who read my reviews regularly, I want to tell you that you can do better than the mediocre efforts of “Ice Age: Continental Drift.  Wait, a second, my beautiful wife who also serves as my editor, cop show enthusiast, and my official stat checker tells me I don’t have any 8yrs and younger readers.  In that case this is one of those reviews that really has no merit. The Ice Age films make money ice over fist and will continue to get made until parents stop taking their 8yr old and unders to the movies, and that’s a lose-lose for everyone.  

This time around Scrat the frantic acorn hungry saber toothed squirrel, who is easily the best thing going in all four films, accidentally sets off the division of Pangaea to the seven continents we know so lovingly know.  As land starts to break apart the overbearing Mammoth Manny (Ray Romano), the hard-edged Saber-toothed tiger Diego (Denis Leary), and the intelligence-challenged sloth Sid (John Leguizamo) get separated from their family and pack.  Drifting away at sea, the three must battle a no good monkey pirate captain named Gut (Peter Dinklage) and the tides to get back home.

The voice actors really do disappoint. Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, and new arrival Wanda Sykes are already extremely grating to my ears, but give them 3rd rate corny dialogue, and I started to get a bit nauseous.  Nicki Minaj is added for no other reason but to give her an IMDB acting credit, as well as Jennifer Lopez because this is a 20th Century Fox movie, and she works for 20th Century Fox’s “American Idol”.

The silly but not so inspiring hi-jinx made the kids in theater laugh; so good for them.  Would I have been joyous if the little tikes would have come out of with grumblings of the recycled state of Hollywood fare and how their age demographic wasn’t being respected?  Heck yeah I would have, but, then again, my mother would have appreciated it just as much if I didn’t come out a little dumber every time I watched a “Beavis and Butthead” episode.

“This” didn’t come out a little dumber every time I watched a “Beavis and Butthead” episode.


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Reader Comments (2)

Your wife is your editor? So she wrote that she's beautiful? Jejeje! Great review! And yeah, the movie sucked.

July 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVits

lol! Glad you agreed.

July 30, 2012 | Registered CommenterMitch

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