Entries in Robert Pattinson (5)


Good Time- review


“Good Time” (2017)

Directed by Benny Safdie,  Josh Safdie

Starring Robert Pattinson,  Benny Safdie,  Jennifer Jason Leigh

Running Time 101 Minutes, Rated R.

4.5 Mitch’s out of 5

Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com


These are the true gems people.  Brothers Benny and Josh Safdie direct a true fly by the seat of your pants crime drama that has the uncanny ability of taking the story in a direction that comes out of nowhere.  “Good Time” is a pulse-pounding tour-de-force that embodies the kinetic spirit of one my favorite Martin Scorsese films, “After Hours”.  Not too mention, a performance from Robert Pattinson that absolutely sheds any “Twilight” hangover this viewer might of had left, as he is fully immersed as the low level criminal smooth talker Connie Nikas.  

The film opens with a bank heist that goes wrong for Pattinson’s Connie and his hearing impaired and mentally disabled brother Nick played by co-director Benny Safdie.  Separated, Connie spends the rest of the film working to get back to his brother which showcases Connie’s heart of gold but willingness to do anything despicable to achieve it.  

There were scenes when my mouth was agape, in utter shock of what transpired and oh my goodness is that fun.  The Safdie brothers have pulled you into this part of the criminal world and let you try to figure it out in real time just as fast as Connie has to.  There’s also a stabbing commentary of how Connie, a criminal, gets away with more being a ‘white’ criminal where persons of color end up on the raw end of the deal simply for being of color.  

“Good Time” is exactly that.  A must see for true film lovers.  

James 5:13



The Lost City of Z- review


“The Lost City of Z” (2017)

Directed by James Gray

Starring Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Sienna Miller

Running Time 141 Minutes, Rated PG-13

2.5 Mitch’s out of 5

Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com

James Gray goes for the old school sweeping British explorer pic detailing Percy Fawcett’s (Charlie Hunnam) obsession for finding the great Amazonian city that no white man has been privy to only to have his film, “The Lost City of Z” being pulled in too many directions without having a strong clear voice about any of them.  Is this really about the bigotry of the church, or about trying to leave a legacy, or about putting your family second, or… eight other storylines?  It’s a beautiful film to look at, and Hunnam (King Arthur) shows more talent than I was aware from him, but it’s Robert Pattinson who impressed me the most with a quiet but strong performance as he is carving out a very good post-Twilight career.  The film ends it’s fleeting moments in a way that thinks it is stoic and insightful but seems rather a coward’s stab at a lack of detail.  What a loss.


 Hebrews 13:14




The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 2” (2012)
Directed by Bill Condon
Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Running Time 115 Minutes, Rated PG-13
1 Mitch’s out of 5
Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com

And the angels sang.  It’s over, it’s finally over, and that’s the best thing I can say about the saga that is Twilight.  
I once heard Roger Ebert go off about how he didn’t like the Star Trek films.  How he couldn’t hear one more thing about warp power or deflector fields and other Trekkie verbiage.  As a huge Star Trek fan, I couldn’t understand what he was talking about, watching every film in the series and just plain not getting the splendor that I was able to find in this wildly huge and successful franchise.  

I now understand where Ebert was coming from. The Twilight movies are a billion dollar product that most every young person without a “y” chromosome knows the love triangle with Bella, Edward, and Jake, and it makes me sick to my stomach.  I despise these movies. I’ve watched them all, and I can never take that back. Much like the Phoenix, I shall rise from the ashes, and I will be a better person from it.  As the credits rolled a great joy washed over me, ecstatic bliss like the Ewoks dancing at the end of Return of the Jedi.

I try to come to every movie objectively.  I went into the final Twilight film hearing it was the best one yet. That’s like saying you lucked out with Kim Jong-il replacing Hitler as your college roommate.  If Breaking Dawn Part 2 was the best of the sorry bunch, then I don’t care cause it was also extremely awful.  

Here’s the quick version.  Bella and Edward are happily married with their half human and half vamp daughter Renesmee who happens to age at the Progeria disorder rate of Robin Williams’ “Jack”.  Also, Jacob is imprinted to the very young, like baby young, Renesmee, which means at some point they’ll romantically end up together.  How is this a good idea?!!!  Sick, dude, just sick.

Whatever, so the vamp police known as the Volturi, lead by Michael Sheen’s elder vamp, think Bella and Edward have turned a young child into a bloodsucker which is an unholy crime.  A squareoff between the two factions comes in the finale.  I actually thought the end fight scene wasn’t half terrible until they of course wussed out.

I hated this movie.  It’s was the worst kind of soap opera with its elongated smoldering looks.  I hated that this movie made so much friggin money but they couldn’t get decent CGI, and the fact the CGI they did use was to give the true loves baby freaky expressions.  

I hated this series.  Goodbye Twilight, now leave me alone.

Matthew 24:13


Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1- review

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)
Directed by Bill Condon
Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Running Time 117 Minutes, Rated PG-13
1.5 Mitch’s out of 5
Mitch Hansch/ movieswithmitch.com

THIS REVIEW DOESN'T MATTER.   If you’re on Team Edward or Team Jacob then, by default, you’re on Team Twilight.  You’ve made it to the fourth installment and you could care less what some opinionated yet handsome movie critic has to say.  If you are a newbie to the series then you must have done something very wrong, and this is your apology to your girlfriend.  

The Twilight Saga is a mind-bendingly successful franchise (things that make you go hmmm?) that will no doubt be in this years top five for box office totals.  Nothing is going to stop this and the final film from continuing that.  It doesn’t matter that these films are consistently awful and make me die a little every time I watch one because someone who has invested this far into these sad characters and eye-rolling melodrama won’t agree with me, and they will not be deterred by Breaking Dawn Part 1’s myriad of flaws.  My love for the series “Lost” made me blind to it’s ongoing decline, and all these little Twilighters are as blind as emo vampire bats.  

The saga (saga-shmaga) continues with a nice joke (hopefully intended) of teen-wolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner) ripping off his shirt in anger and exposing his 14-pack abs after receiving an invitation to the 105 year-old sulk-vamp Edward (Robert Pattinson) and 18 year-old vamp-wannabe Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) wedding (what can she say, she digs older men).  The wedding has plenty of moments for the fans to respond to including a jealous toast from Jessica played by the Oscar nominated Anna Kendrick.  I wonder if I had only seen the talented Kendrick in these films instead of  “Up in the Air” or “50/50” if I would think she’s that talented.  

As the honeymoon in Brazil gets going prompting some frisky property damage, Bella loses her abstinence to the pasty faced Edward and is rewarded by being impregneted with a half-vamp half-human baby.  Edward looks in startled horror as the blood-sucking baby will eventually kill Bella’s non-compatible body from the inside.  So you’re saying in all the years of inter-species mating between vampires and humans, that in not one instance have they ever gotten preggers?  Whatever.  

Wolf/Vamp wars play out as Bella’s failed Rosemary’s Baby’s horror plays out.  Bill Condon (Kinsey, Gods and Monsters), a decent director, takes over the series with a big budget to work with but can’t escape the series trap-falls of stilted dialogue and barrage of unintentionally hilarious moments.  I laughed harder at a scene of CGI wolves arguing amongst each other than I did at the very funny “Bridesmaids”.

As I said earlier with Anna Kendrick, it often takes better projects to show if an actor has it or not.  Stewart has shown it in “Adventureland”, and I’ll even give the sad-smile Pattinson another chance after his work in “Water for Elephants”, but for Lautner, this and his latest film Abduction asked the question, what’s the opposite word for talent? The answer is untalented.  I hate the way Lautner comes into a scene, the way he walks, talks, and I don’t even like the way he continues to breathe.

Again, my opinion doesn’t matter.  Bad reviews don’t stop people from going to Transformer flicks, Tyler Perry movies, and Adam Sandler abominations.  Breaking Dawn Part 2 will be even more successful than this sure-fire hit.  And for that I give respect but not praise.

And for “this” I give respect but not praise.



Water for Elephants- review

“Water for Elephants” (2011)
Directed by Francis Lawrence
Starring Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz
Running Time 122 Minutes, Rated PG-13
2.5 Mitch’s out of 5
Mitch Hansch/ movieswithmitch.com

“Water For Elephants” is not the most spectacular show on Earth, let alone a show worth reccomending, even though it has the appearance of it from time to time.  Francis Lawrence (Constantine, I Am Legend) does his part, beautifully shooting this adapted New York Times Best Seller and showcasing the aura of life with the traveling circus during the Great Depression.  The film is gorgeous to look at, but “Water For Elephants” is ultimately plagued by a simplistic script that is as disappointing as finding out that Woody Allen has been cast as your circus' strong man.  That and the bland romance between the film's two leads fails to evoke anything showstopping.

After tragedy strikes, taking the lives of his parents in a car accident, Jacob drops out of Cornell University where he had been training for a veterinary degree. Finding that he has lost everything, Jacob hops a train, which turns out to be that of Benzini Brothers traveling circus.  Jacob is quickly taken under the wing of the complex and ill tempered ringmaster August (Christoph Waltz).  On August’s arm is his beautiful wife Elena (Reese Witherspoon), the acrobatic star who works with the shows main attractions.  

The main attraction of the film is not the eventual lack-luster love that broods between the steamy dreamy Jacob and the classically gorgeous Elena but the second act introduction of the scene stealing Rosie.  Rosie, who could teach Pattinson a thing or two when it comes to acting, is the 52-year old Polish Elephant who evokes more emotion than any other character in the film.  Previous burns aside, Pattinson shows more in this film than I’ve seen from him in the Twilight junk he’s known for.  Pattinson shows the most charm when he’s opposite any of the animals that the scene calls for, but next to Witherspoon, who has the elegant quality of a 1940’s actress,  shares as much chemistry as a high school quarterback and a 40-year old vegan civil rights activist- they have no chemistry.  

There’s plenty to praise in “Water For Elephants”.  Besides the decent acting which includes Oscar winner Christoph Waltz showing more remorse in his problematic characters than I’ve seen before, the cinematography and James Newton Howard’s wonderful score really paints a vivid picture of the era.  The “big show” sets are amazingly detailed to the point of you feeling like you could smell the giraffe’s nasty breath. But Richard LaGravenese’s script is as lackluster as a clown car that only holds two clowns.  All too often, you can feel the characters merely going through the checkpoints of the Great Depression, including an awkward scene of an ol’ timey circus veteran named Camel (Jim Norton) sulking over prohibition.  As fun as it is to hear Waltz’s August go off on a life lesson tangent, LaGravenese could have used a trim as August yaps away.  That, along with Pattinson and Witherspoon giving us a love not worth fighting for, makes this film nothing more than a white elephant.

“This” is nothing more than a white elephant.