Entries in Tom Hiddleston (3)


Kong: Skull Island- review


“Kong: Skull Island” (2017)

Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts

Starring Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson

Running Time 118 Minutes, Rated PG-13

2 Mitch’s out of 5

Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com


A failed Vietnam War allegory as the latest version of the giant ape, “Kong: Skull Island”, painfully beats its chest trying to be an Apocalypse Now monster movie mash up to no avail.  Kong Screenwriter Max Borenstein, who also wrote the last Godzilla, is too focused on spearheading the two’s impending monsterverse to concentrate on the human element as the films leads are basically bystanders while the impressive CGI components do battle.  

As the Vietnam War is about to conclude, one more mission is sent to a career soldier played by Samuel L. Jackson and his outfit. They are accompanied by scientists including John Goodman, an expert mercenary tracker played by Tom Hiddleston, and an ‘anti-war’ photographer played by Brie Larson.  Goodman’s character says monsters do exist, and in no small size he is correct as they depart to an uncharted island where all Kong breaks loose.


The special effects are the fun of the movie, and Kong shines but I liked the giant creepy crawlers in Peter Jackson’s version better.  Borenstein tries to have too many characters, and neither him nor director Jordan Vogt-Roberts can make any of them compelling.  Hiddleston and Larson have so little do as the leads, especially Hiddleston’s sensitive tough guy really adds nothing story wise.  Jackson’s character is way too close to Colonel Kurtz as the film dimly points at what the “real price of war” is, and “who the real enemy is” and the soundtrack is as cliche spot on as Vietnam films go.  John C. Reilly pops up and gives the film life but is delegated to a unintentionally laughable credits sequence.  

“Kong: Skull Island” slips on a giant banana peel this time around.

Numbers 13:33



Crimson Peak- review


“Crimson Peak” (2015)

Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Starring Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston

Running Time 119 Minutes, Rated R

2 Mitch’s out of 5

Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com

Beware of Crimson Peak.  This is a ghostly warning to Mia Wasikowska throughout the film.  I too have a warning for people who don’t want to attend poorly written would-be horror films:

Beware of Crimson Peak.

Very early on in the film, our lead character, Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska), an inspiring writer clarifies that her novel is not a ghost story and that the ghosts are just metaphors for the past.  The very good director Guillermo del Toro very obviously points out to us that his film, “Crimson Peak”, isn’t a horror film, and by doing this, he also points out that his film isn’t a good film either.  Window dressed as a horror film, “Crimson Peak” is supposed to be a gothic romance, but I was not romanced, I was not frightened, and I was not entertained.

After lady Edith loses her father to a gruesome unsolved murder which is later revealed to you by the letter Duh and the number So What, she marries the mysterious Sir Thomas Sharpe who is never too far away from his angsty goth sister played by Jessica Chastain and is whisked away to their crumbling family mansion on the other side of the pond.  


The house is ghoulish as it’s set upon a crimson colored foundation of clay that literally seeps into the haunted house.  While I must give del Toro and company high praise for prettying things up highly Victorian, I was not happy with the CGI ghost fare.  I’m not happy with the ghosts at all to be honest.  If you took out all the ghosts of the story, then it would change zero to anything that happens in this film.  Did del Toro not trust his script (which he shouldn’t have), so he fancied it up with the dead?  Who knows, and who cares?  Better luck next time del Toro.

Better luck next time del “thiso”.

Job 7:9-10



Thor: The Dark World- review


“Thor: The Dark World” (2013)

Directed by Alan Taylor, James Gunn

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman

Running Time 112 Minutes, Rated PG-13

2 Mitch’s out of 5

Mitch Hansch/movieswithmitch.com


I enjoyed the first “Thor”, forgive the rhyme but the second entry is a marvel-less bore.

Marvel is not moving in the right direction for me after the Earth shattering success that was “The Avengers”.  I know I’m in the minority but “Iron Man 3” was a bit too much of an evening at the Comedy Store for me, and now with “Thor: The Dark World”, I find myself viewing nothing better than a generic “Clash of the Titans” style action fare.

Chris Hemsworth’s Nordic God Thor is far more charming, interesting, and even well acted than Sam Worthington’s Perseus, but either blame it on director newcomers Alan Taylor and James Gunn taking duties over for Kenneth Branagh (whose Shakespearean gifts highly accredited the first Thor film) or the new screenwriters for their lackluster addition to the superhero universe.  I blame both parties that aren’t nearly as cute or funny as they think they are, populated by lifeless action sequences, and a climax that’s so disorientated and unkempt.  

The whole universe is at stake when little dark elves lead by Christopher Eccleston’s Malekith seek the all encompassing item of evil called Aether.  It gets a bit old that it’s always the whole Galaxy-kitten-kaboodle at stake in these films, but with so much at stake you think the chiseled prince of Asgard would call on his Avenger buddies.  Nope, he joins back with wannabe be human enslaver and half brother Loki.  Tom Hiddleston is so good at the treacherous Loki that I’ll forgive the writers of not having the cajones to kill off his character, but not even Hiddleston can wipe away the sleepy stars this snooze fest gave me.  

Natalie Portman’s Jane the scientist returns, and there’s just as little chemistry between the literal star crossed lovers as in the first “Thor”.  Loki brings up the “Highlander” quandary of being cursed with way outliving your true love, but this aspect never delves deeper.  Too bad, if further explored we might actually feel something for the two.  Other characters return from Thor; least successful is tv’s “Two Broke Girls” Kat Dennings as Jane’s intern Darcy Lewis whose one dimensional would-be quippy comic relief grows all the more grating as the film goes.  

The worst is the third act/climax that hopes it’s overtime working CGI (which are pretty decent) will cover up for the mass confusion that will scratch heads.  A yarn fest combined with a “I-give-up-so-lets-demolish-buildings” ending has me passing my time until Joss Whedon returns.

has me passing my “this” until Joss Whedon returns.

1 John 4:1